Media Emerging

If you want to see how NOT to run your Customer Service operations, try to connect with a YouTube representative.

After searching in vain through YouTube’s Help forum for a customer service contact, I finally tracked down a Contact Us form via a Google search. I sent YouTube a question — not even an urgent one, mind you — and got an immediate response. It just wasn’t the response I wanted. Take a look:

Seriously? That’s the message you want to send from Customer Support? Let’s see if I understood it correctly:

1. We can’t help you.
2. We don’t want to help you.
3. Don’t try to contact us, because we won’t answer you.
4. We’ve even set up defenses to keep you from contacting us.
5. Go find your own damn answers.

Yesterday, I talked about the 5 D’s of Customer Evasion: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge. But this takes it a little far, don’t ya think?

YouTube’s slogan: Broadcast Yourself.

Alright, readers, you heard ‘em. Gold stars to everyone who shares this post with a friend.

We can learn a lot about running a business by watching kids play games. Remember these favorites from your childhood?

Hide-and-Seek

Tag! You’re it! You search for clients, but can’t find them. Or worse yet, prospective customers look for you, but can’t find you. Still think your advertising is working?

Capture the Flag

The guy who stays close to his home base doesn’t win. See, in order to win, you have to actually capture the flag! Sure, you risk being “tagged,” but success comes from daring to reach into new territory, not from staying close to home.

Dodgeball

Ah, yes, you know the sort. They practice the 5 D’s of Customer Evasion: “Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.” Customers call and call, but nobody answers. Remind me again, when is avoiding your customers a good idea?

H-O-R-S-E

Remember this old basketball game? Player #1 takes a shot from anywhere on the court. Player #2 has to duplicate the shot, which is often impossible, or get a letter. First to spell H-O-R-S-E loses.

The lesson here: Save the mimicry for the basketball court. Be an original. Imitation is for losers.

Musical Chairs

Five chairs, six kids. Sums up competition nicely, doesn’t it?

Winning musical chairs is all about positioning. Good marketing is about how and where you position yourself. Have you positioned your company to win?

Mother May I?

Have you asked prospects for their business? Have you asked your customers if you may contact them about future specials?

My mother usually denied my requests (I’m convinced she liked my brother better). And, yes, your customers and prospects will deny you, too. But you still have to ask for their business…they can’t say yes if you don’t ask.

Other Games

Okay, guys…help me out. What do these games tell us about business and marketing?

• Red Rover
• Hop Scotch
• Freeze Tag
• Cops and Robbers
• Duck Duck Goose
• Kick the Can
• Rock Paper Scissors