Drinking the Kool-Aid as I Jump the Shark…FTW!
5 Feb
Bloggers have come down with a terrible case of the clichés, and boy are these hackneyed phrases doozies. In tribute to the late George Carlin, I’m starting my own official policy: This is the language you will not hear on this blog.
On this blog, I will not “jump the shark,” “get outside the fishbowl,” or “leave the echo chamber.” There will be no “circling the drain.” I will not “eat my own dog food” or “drink the kool-aid.”
I will never say “wheels up.” I will not go “off the grid.”
I will not do anything “for the win!” I won’t offer you anything “for what it’s worth” or “in my humble opinion.”
I will not use the word “kerfuffle.” Come to think of it, “brouhaha” and “imbroglio” are off limits, too.
There will be no gurus, no mavens, no Jedi, and no ninjas. Go hang out with the elflords and the 7th level wizards. There will be no “thought leaders” or “ideators,” either. Fairy tale creatures will be shot on sight.
And nothing will be “the new black.”
There will be no “twestivals,” “tweetups,” “tweeunions,” “twircuses,” “twuncheons,” “twitocracies,” “twictatorships,” “twinfluence,” or “twash twalking”
There will be no “death by PowerPoint.” There will be no “groupthink.” I will not “think globally and act locally.” There will be no “critical mass.”
We’ll say goodbye to NASCAR dads, hockey moms, Plinko uncles, and Chutes and Ladders sisters.
I will not get it to you by C.O.B. We will not discuss the R.O.I. And for god’s sake, we will no longer cook with EVOO.
There will be no “green interior decorators,” “green landscapers” or “green lawyers.”
When the task is overwhelming, you won’t find me trying to “boil the ocean.” When a project is behind schedule, I won’t be “basting the turkey.” I will not “hunker down.”
I don’t wanna hear about the future of this, the death of that, or the evolution of anything. There will be no more “downward spirals” or “vicious cycles.”
There, that oughtta do for now. “w00t!”
So, no iPhone killers, killer apps or things that are platform agnostic?
You're not going to focus on your core competencies or offer a holistic client-facing experience?
No plans to push the envelope on 2.0 plug-and-play e-business?
No leading edge best practices?
Then I have one word for you, bro: FAIL!!!!
Ha! Brilliant…love it!
There seem to be two different varieties of cliché: one is the old-fashioned kind: a lazy short hand; the other is the more pernicious: used as an indicator that the user belongs to some sort of exclusive (and presumably desirable) group, whether it be software engineers or Condé Nast employees, it's interjected into a conversation as a way (pathetic, it's true) to exclude those not in the know. Even if one disdains the terminology, one still feels desperate to stay abreast of it, alas.
So, no iPhone killers, killer apps or things that are platform agnostic?
You're not going to focus on your core competencies or offer a holistic client-facing experience?
No plans to push the envelope on 2.0 plug-and-play e-business?
No leading edge best practices?
Then I have one word for you, bro: FAIL!!!!
Ha! Brilliant…love it!
There seem to be two different varieties of cliché: one is the old-fashioned kind: a lazy short hand; the other is the more pernicious: used as an indicator that the user belongs to some sort of exclusive (and presumably desirable) group, whether it be software engineers or Condé Nast employees, it's interjected into a conversation as a way (pathetic, it's true) to exclude those not in the know. Even if one disdains the terminology, one still feels desperate to stay abreast of it, alas.
Right there with you fella.
Love seeing someone that's so far ahead of the curve that it's impossible to level the playing field because the train has left the station ;-)
you forgot cockwaffles
Wait, wait, you're not suggesting we start talking about things literally…are you? That would be a little “ahead of your time.”
found this post on Twitter. God that was funny. We used to play a game at work called Bull Sh*t Bingo. Everytime someone on a conference used a cliche, you earn a bingo chip. Let me “run this post up the flag pole” and see if others like it too.
Right there with you fella.
Love seeing someone that's so far ahead of the curve that it's impossible to level the playing field because the train has left the station ;-)
you forgot cockwaffles
Wait, wait, you're not suggesting we start talking about things literally…are you? That would be a little “ahead of your time.”
found this post on Twitter. God that was funny. We used to play a game at work called Bull Sh*t Bingo. Everytime someone on a conference used a cliche, you earn a bingo chip. Let me “run this post up the flag pole” and see if others like it too.
Idiom-bashing is the new black.
What fun would life be without these colorful expressions? (Although “ideator” *is* idiotic.)
But c'mon! Kerfluffle? Brilliant word. I suspect we'll all be circling the drain before these run out of steam.
:) <– And don't dis' the smiley. It's Twittastic.
I've got a draft-post on this very subject; I'll have to blow the dust off of it and throw my hat into the ring.
Idiom-bashing is the new black.
What fun would life be without these colorful expressions? (Although “ideator” *is* idiotic.)
But c'mon! Kerfluffle? Brilliant word. I suspect we'll all be circling the drain before these run out of steam.
:) <– And don't dis' the smiley. It's Twittastic.
I've got a draft-post on this very subject; I'll have to blow the dust off of it and throw my hat into the ring.
Brilliant post. If I may add two more to the list: “silo” and “synergy” – both make me cringe.
Can we add “pirates” to the 6th paragraph list of names, titles, and all other idiotic self-anointing?
We should also make sure all writing is world class, best of breed and next generation, while we toil at providing seamless, leading edge solutions to the technical problems of the world.
Brilliant post. If I may add two more to the list: “silo” and “synergy” – both make me cringe.
Can we add “pirates” to the 6th paragraph list of names, titles, and all other idiotic self-anointing?
We should also make sure all writing is world class, best of breed and next generation, while we toil at providing seamless, leading edge solutions to the technical problems of the world.
So, basically, but process of elimination, we bloggers have nothing to post anymore. Awesome work. Thanks! ;-)
So, basically, but process of elimination, we bloggers have nothing to post anymore. Awesome work. Thanks! ;-)
So, basically, but process of elimination, we bloggers have nothing to post anymore. Awesome work. Thanks! ;-)